Stick it up your canal, you £$%&!

One-upmanship is big in the world of travel. I like to call it geographical one-upmanship. This is the equivalent of general knowledge one-upmanship, which if you don’t know is the most reprehensible of all supposed intelligences.

The soulless fuck that takes pride in knowing the name of the largest man-made canal or most populated city is to be treated with extreme prejudice. If possible their houses should be burned with their families inside. It’s not that knowing these types of facts is wrong in itself; it’s rather the people who choose to learn them do so to mask a very unpleasant insecurity.

We have all been around these annoying gits with their constant conversational droppers of useless facts.

Git: I mean we all know that Taiwan is still a part of China. (Smugly raises his hands in a gesture of social superiority) Don’t we?

Person who does not know begins to feel like he should and so keeps quiet when what he should have done was spit in the face of this bastard spewing his useless and pointless knowledge.

If you want to be intelligent, you should probably think about something insightful to say at a gathering, or practice your emotional or social awareness that causes people to enjoy having you around. Or, what is more likely, you realise that you are a fucking prick and the only way you could have been more intelligent is if your mother had not imbibed so many painkiller/booze cocktails during her pregnancy.