PM Brown wants my nails long..?

Besides being frightfully cold most of the time and consisting of a vast population of social degenerates and general miscreants, England has a lot to offer. For instance the store TK-Max. This is a shopping outlet which offers discounted clothing brands and an assortment of other miscellaneous articles. On one particular outing I had a rather peculiar experience. I was in the market for a manicure set (for brevity’s sake and we shall refer to it as that, but for a more machismo sound – I just wanted to have some nail clippers, tweezers and a pair of scissors to trim my nails and the rather premature nasal hair brandishing its avant-garde ugliness). A fairly normal and regular purchase one would think, but at the counter I was asked to present identification. Again normally enough I did not bring my passport on an impromptu shopping outing nor did I have my driver’s license. Anyway the reason for their absurd request was that I was in fact buying a potentially dangerous weapon.

After a few minutes of chatting and essentially ridiculing the store’s ethos and the British government’s attempt at ensuring security at the cost of basic freedoms, I was allowed to leave the shop with my manicure set in hand.

Ridiculous? Yes indeed. When the utter surprise had turned to a bland dismay, I had a chance to question the whole experience.

Firstly, my general appearance, whilst quite unrefined, does not lend weight to the idea that I am a violent criminal – yes I realise that is profiling, but I am unfettered by my own cavalier prejudice.

And secondly, if I was planning on going to a knives fight, would I really equip myself with that oh so effective weaponry of nail clippers and tweezers. Hair removal hurts and certainly when one trims the nails a little too short there is a bit of discomfort for a few days following – but generally this is not the weapon of choice.

England! The madness continues.